Why Love is Absolutely Central to your Work

‘But I just can’t do it!’ wailed my client, covering her face with her hands.

for stop hiding

‘That’s OK. Let’s wait and see what happens’, I responded gently.

‘I can’t!’ she almost shouted at me, ‘If I wait then nothing will happen and I won’t get any work and then what will I do?’ A tear trickled down her cheek.

‘OK. Let’s just breathe together then,’ I said quietly. A few muffled sounds later and we were sitting together (over Skype) simply being aware of our breathing. I had tailored my breathing to be in sync with hers as much as I could, and it was helping to bring her to a calmer place. This was waiting happening.

She opened her eyes. ‘Oh dear. I get so taken over with fear, and then that makes me panic even more’.

I looked at her directly, ‘Well spotted. So right now, what’s happening in your body? What do you feel, and where?’

Sometimes with my clients I have a session which shifts everything. I often refer back to it as The Conversation – where everything shifts and we start working on a whole different level, with correspondingly different results.

This was one of these times: my client was able to come to a place where she did wait, and something did happen that propelled her into very different actions from what she might otherwise have done.

During the session, I asked her one very important question and when we discussed her answers in depth, everything shifted for her.

So what was actually going on here?

The effects of a difficult divorce were proving hard to bear for her. The receiving of the final decree nisi had impacted her to the extent that she was finding it almost impossible to work.   I was encouraging her to do nothing because I knew that actions taken from a place of fear like this would lead to less than brilliant results.

But the mind hates ‘doing nothing’. It is the part of you that comes up with fabulous ideas to solve your problems. That says ‘you must sign up for that course that tells you what to do’, or ‘you’d better get a job’, or ‘you’ll never be any good, what ever made you think you could do this?’

That’s because the mind is interested purely (and understandably) in your survival. Mind will ‘tell’ you what to do based on your experiences in the past. Mind’s limited thinking, and what it thinks will prompt you to go for what works best, regardless of your intuition. Mind wants to protect you so will do all it can to ensure that.

There’s nothing wrong with this other than it can keep you very stuck. That’s what was happening with my client in that moment. Fortunately, over time, she was able to acknowledge and express her feelings about it (key for movement and shifts to happen).

The only real problem was that she was believing what her mind was saying in that moment, and when you believe anything your mind says (even the good stuff!) then you’re in trouble.
That’s because Love is the only place that can really help you take actions that will work for you. Love, the utter essence of life itself, in all its manifest forms, is the only thing that really matters.

GeneralThis is a big topic and I’m sure to come back to it time and time again, but it’s showing up this week because of my reflections about life and death in my book, Gifted By Grief (which was launched last week, in case you hadn’t heard! You can read more about it here).

When you contemplate life, death is right in there. When you contemplate both of them, love cannot be anything but present (whether you pay any attention to it or not).

Love is always present, let’s face it, but often we ignore it, don’t recognize it, don’t understand this is the case, interfere with it expressing itself – you name it, we have many, many ways of disregarding love.

In business, and in work, love is present too. And one way you can access it is by doing what my client was willing to do: take a conscious breath, and then wait.

Then in that space, you can ask yourself a really important question. This is the one question that shifted everything for my client in the session.

“What does Love want to do now?”

If you’re open and willing, you’ll ‘hear’ a response. It might not come immediately, it may be a hunch or gut feeling, or just an idea that pops into your head. But if it feels right, and is nurturing both for yourself and others, then that will be Love speaking.

And all that needs to then happen is responding to that answer. A lot easier said than done, and I’ll cover that next week!

In the meantime, if you’d like support to access your own loving wisdom in relation to your work, or life for that matter, join me for what I’m now calling The Conversation.

It’s half an hour for free with me, one to one, where you can bring anything you like that is bothering you.

It could be that you know there is a conversation with yourself you’re not having; it could be you know you’re avoiding something in your business; it could be the results you want are not happening in the way you want.

Together we’ll wait and see what happens. Trust me, when you do this in the presence of Love, something will!

I have just 5 slots available to be taken before the end of September so sign up here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can Business and Love Go Together?

Can you run a business with love? Can those two words even go together?

In fact, this is not a new idea. Reading Chocolate Wars recently by Deborah Cadbury, I was struck by the heartfelt compassion and love at the base of the Cadbury brothers’ chocolate company when they started out.  They were a Quaker company in Birmingham, England, alongside many other Quaker businesses at the time (in fact, in the early nineteenth century, around 4000 Quaker families in Britain ran seventy-four banks, and over two hundred major companies, according to spiritual principles).  Making money and taking care of their employees were of equal importance to the Cadbury brothers. Continue reading

What’s the Point of Plans?

It takes a lot of courage to not have plans in your life and business. The traditional way of doing business is most definitely to have a plan, in fact it’s even called that, a business plan.  It sets out your intentions with your business, where you want to go with it, and how you think you will get there.  If you need funding to help you get started, or take your business to the next level you will almost definitely need this kind of plan. That’s understandable, as someone offering funding most likely will want to know what you ‘plan’ to do with it.

The thing about plans though is that they often don’t happen as planned! Continue reading

How Trust and Fear Play Together in Your Business

When I was a psychotherapist, I used a very simple model of exchanging my time for the clients’ money. A session was arranged, the time went by, and at the end of the hour, the client would hand over money to me, often in the form of cash. The agreement was clear – payment was being made for my time. When it was cash, any trust involved ended at the point of the cash being handed over. When payment was made by cheque, trust began immediately to operate in a far larger way – I trusted that they had the money in their bank account to honour their cheque. I trusted that the bank would do its job properly. Once again, though, when the payment had gone through the bank, the trust involved in that transaction ended.

Trust is inherent in any business, whether it is at this simple level of trading time for money, or at a more complex level of invoicing someone for your services, and waiting for them to pay you. Of course, sometimes this system doesn’t work, but most of the time it does. The people involved at all the different levels of the business simply trust that what someone has said will happen, will.

But what happens when the systems you thought you could trust fall apart? Continue reading

Do You Love Your Business?

Hands up if you read that title and thought ‘Yuck – all wishy washy, airy fairy, stuff.  How can that be anything to do with business?’  Sadly, this is a common sentiment (because the power of love and friendship in your business can be enormous – if you let it).  Do the exercise below as you read on, to help you become closer to your business in a healthy and loving way. Continue reading