How Grief is Transforming Wild Wisdom

I unwittingly jumped on a rollercoaster ride when I came back from holiday a few weeks ago.Roller Coaster 1

I was plunged into a tsunami of rage towards my dead husband of 3 years.

It’s been a very long time since I felt like this, and it was a bit shocking to be taken over so much by these intense feelings. It only lasted a couple of days, but I criticised myself for not being able to work; I berated myself for not being further forward in my life; and I felt stuck. Stuck, stuck, stuck. Swirling around in the tears and the anger and the pain that it all brought, old habitual limiting thoughts rising to the fore.

It came to a head when I noticed how furious I was with the newly-retired man living next door. What for? Because he was retired and he and his wife could do whatever they liked on his pension. And I had no man, who had left me with a very precarious financial situation.

That stopped me. I had to laugh, it was so outrageous! He had done nothing at all, and yet he provoked my fury. Obviously, I needed help!

I got help in the form of good colleagues helping me get my mind straight, after the floods of tears which were the aftermath of the tsunami. But the washing through of this, and a willingness to trust the process (which I had been resisting) emerged again and I spent the next two days doing what I really wanted to do – have a good clear out of my flat.

Normally, I spend most of my time doing what I want to do. So this whole episode was unusual to say the least. But I’m sharing it here because it was the precursor of another event – and looking back, I can see it was the darkness before the light.

At the same time, I was working with Julia Stege, The Magical Marketer (This is the woman I mentioned to you last week – our call together has been moved from Monday 11th to Tuesday 19th May, details following in a separate email).

The result of this has been far-reaching. I am celebrating another change for Wild Wisdom, woo hoo, bring it on!  I seem to thrive on change, once I get used to the idea it is happening 🙂

Julia and I came up together with a statement that encompasses how my work with Wild Wisdom and my forthcoming book Gifted By Grief combine together:

“I help spiritual women business owners who have been stopped by grief to awaken to the gifts and wild wisdom in their situation, so they can step fully into their new life and make the contribution they were born to make.”

It was so obvious! I even remembered that my business coach had mentioned this connection to me a few months ago – but obviously I wasn’t ready to hear it, let alone act on it.

I was resistant because I thought it meant a very narrow niche – how many spiritual solo professionals and small business owners had been stopped by grief, like I was?  Well, on reflection, when I realised everyone has had grief of some kind in their lives, quite a lot!

Grief is all part of the human tapestry of emotion. It comes with being alive in a body. What’s important about grief is how it is pushed away, tolerated, or welcomed in. When either of the former two happen, it will make its presence felt (eventually) in no uncertain terms.

It is well-documented that when grief is not processed fully it can have a detrimental effect on the body, let alone on any other aspect of life. And even when it is welcomed, it can still cause problems.

So how does grief show up in life?  Here’s a list with a few ways:

  • Death of a loved one (person or pet)
  • A loved one has illness/diagnosis
  • Kids leaving home (empty nest)
  • Forced to move
  • Losing a business partner
  • Career change causing confusion
  • Loss of health
  • Divorce
  • Failure
  • Loss of innocence (eg if raped)
  • Loss of hope (eg infertility)
  • A dream not realised

So I will be focusing my website and my marketing to this end. I’ll be posting about the myriad ways that life ‘interferes’ with your plans, and causes you to stop, both at an inner level and an outer, more practical level. And of course, what to do about it, even if it is just being comfortable with stopping.

My heart really sings when I facilitate and witness an inner transformation, a light bulb going off in someone’s head as they see/hear/feel things differently, and which impacts their behaviour. Then I’m in heaven, grateful for the opportunity to serve, and delighted that this is my work and I get paid for it!

My Spirit in Business 5 Steps to Success programme begins with the element of discovering exactly who you are, and what you offer to the world, so that will stay the same. Likewise, there is still a place for the Radical Income Welcome Toolkit, which is full of gems that are useful in all walks of life, not just when you’ve been stopped by grief.

So the website will be changing in the next few weeks as I get my head around what my heart wants to move forward with.

 I invite you to come on the journey with me.

And if you would like to explore the situation you find yourself in at work or in your life, please contact me for a free 30 minute exploratory session, where I can listen to you, hear what’s being said in between the words, and help you get clear about your next steps forward.

Why Letting Go Is Essential For Your Business Success

SAM_0822It’s a lot easier to fully move on to a next stage in your life or business if you’ve taken the time to acknowledge what’s gone before. Actually, it’s essential because you can’t go forward properly until you’ve fully accepted where you are right now.

So please be kind to yourselves as you reflect on the following questions!

Preparation:

Allocate a time in your diary to attend to this exercise; allow at least an hour or so of uninterrupted time. Get your last year’s diary so you can easily remember what’s happened.

Now answer the questions below.

Reflection:

  1. What did you accomplish in the course of the last year? (this can be huge things you feel inordinately proud of, or just tiny things but in their own way, equally important)
  2. What did you learn in general? What business lessons did you learn?
  3. Did you have any dreams that came true?
  4. Did you have any disappointments? If so, what did you learn from them?
  5. How did you limit yourself? How can you stop that in the future?
  6. Did you have any areas that felt out of balance? (eg how many days did you take off from your work? Or did you need to actually work more, or in a more focused way?)

Your business figures

This is important because it is a factual measure of where you have been, where you are now and therefore helps you in where you want to go. So often I’ve heard people be disappointed in themselves until they look at their figures and see that they have actually made progress.

A: What was your gross profit?  (that’s the total amount of money that came in to your business)

B: What were your total expenses?

C: And your net profit? (that’s A – B)

(Keep these figures, because you want to be able to compare them to next years).

Notice how you feel about this section. If you don’t know your figures, you will probably have to find them out for your tax return anyway, so you might as well do it now. But set up a system if you haven’t already got one, for monitoring this on a month by month basis. It makes it really easy when you come to do these questions!

When you write the figures down, you’re likely to feel ecstatic, pleasantly surprised, disappointed, embarrassed – or maybe some other emotion. Just check in and see how you feel. Remember they are only indicators of what’s been going on factually – they are NOT who you really are, NOT a measure of your self-worth, NOT set in stone. These figures can change, and will as you learn more, apply what you’re learning, and grow within yourself.  Plus, that’s just what your lovely ego thinks – and the real you knows a lot better than that!  So listen to your own wild wisdom if your reaction to your figures is less than you’d like it to be.  In other words – be kind to yourself!

Marketing

  1. Find out, if you don’t already know, what were your top-selling services or products. Set up a system to monitor this if you haven’t already done so.
  2. If you have a mailing list, by how much did it increase in 2014?
  3. If you do social media, what happened there? Did you make strategic decisions to increase or decrease your following? Why?
  4. What marketing actually worked for you? What was your most successful strategy?

Finally – what did you most love about your business in 2014?  And what did you hate the most?  And what are you most grateful for?

Now comes the creative bit – take a few moments to sit silently with the results of your questions.  Listen to your own wild wisdom about how it wants to express your gratitude for what you have received and given this past year.   It may be through colours, like mine; but you might rather sing your gratitude, paint it, sculpt it. You might want to dance it, cook with it, or sew something. Or you might want to knit, craft, or model something. This is your gift to yourself, expressing your own gratitude for everything that has happened this year, including all the things you weren’t so keen on, because they ALL have contributed to who you and your business are now. Wow!

Check out this link to get your 2015 Workbook from Leonie Dawson, so having let go of 2014 you can jump right into the next year in the most creative way possible!

How Your Chosen Ending Seriously Affects Your Success

“Stop being British and channel your Inner American!”

So said my fellow Mastermind colleague, Claire Hayes (of www.clairephayes.com).

What was she referring to?  I had been hiding my light under a bushel – even after all these years of teaching other people not to do this, here I was doing it myself – again!  It’s not the first time, I have to admit.

I have been writing a new free gift for visitors to my website when they sign up for this newsletter.  It’s entitled ‘The 3 Biggest Mistakes Made When Wanting to Increase Your Income’  (if you’re on my list already, you’ll get a free copy of this, no worries). I had sent it out to members of the Mastermind group to comment on (one of the huge pluses of a business support group is you can bank on honest and knowledgeable feedback).

But why was she referring to my ‘Inner American’?  Because in the draft version I was being polite about what the next step at the end of reading the report was.  I had written the following: Continue reading

3 Essentials to Consider Before Making Your Advertising Decision

“Shall I put an advert in that magazine or not?” Your mind goes backwards and forwards, dithering, wondering, working out the finances. You’re just not sure what to do.  I’m sure you’ve found yourself in this dilemma before, it’s a very common one. You may have taken the gamble before (and sometimes it really can feel like a gamble), and it paid off – or you may not. But regardless, whether or not to take an advert in a print magazine or newspaper is always a challenge. Here’s 3 points you need to consider before making your decision. Continue reading